Things Found In My Spam

Yesterday was Wifey and mine's 1st anniversary. It wa a good day. A very good day. Now I am back at work. I never thought I would say this, but I wish it was still Monday.

Modulation in all things. Mother knows bestThe road to hell is paved with good intentions
People living in glass houses should not!. Tailors and writers must mind the fashion

Modulation in all things. That is how the Flash vibrates through walls. And I have to say that I agree. People living in glass houses should not. They need to stop. Immediately.

Their anxious and embarrassed expression had not auguredany good.
And so, this is what I have decided to propose to you. Let us sink quietly and peacefully, dragging oneanother down. In other words, you mean to turn us out of doors, the pair of you?
She bent over him, but the dying manswords remained an impenetrable secret.
Well, O weavers, have you seen all that there is to see? From to-day, Myrtil and I intend to retire.
Verneuil writes that two pieces in the lastorder were badly joined.
I see now that it wasnot the right moment.
Hippolytes last agony began in an atmosphere of suffocating gloom. Joseph remained breathless and bewildered. The same causes do notproduce the same effects here as with you.
Joseph and Guillaume hadlost all their presence of mind. None of us has earned that right, Madame.
Get up every morning at five oclock, and saw half a cord of woodbefore you go to business. He himself never referredto this period save with an infinity of reticences and restrainedmirth. The secondinjection at six oclock, Madame, that is very important.
Let us sink quietly and peacefully, dragging oneanother down. By the way, it would be just as well if I put on a pair ofdrawers, dont you think?
But they were for Bale, not for Baki, gentlemen,not for Baki.
Guillaume turned his head in his fathers direction.
That is what is happeningwith us, and with the rest of our neighbours.
By the way, it would be just as well if I put on a pair ofdrawers, dont you think? You cant tell how much time you havebefore you. Fifty of them will decide upon taking theplunge.
The third is not thetype that people marry without a dowry.

I love how subtle Robert Guillaume is in working his way into this story. He is awesome!

All good things come to he who waits A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood

Well that is what I am waiting for.

In the ashtray was a book of matches, but there was only one match in it— all she had allowed him.
"There was yet another novelistic roundness in this denouement: they were the same two cops who had come the other day to question Annie about Kushner, David and Goliath.

Must have been a big match to fit all that on it. Maybe one of those novelty matches?

Van der Valk, it turned out, was a fictional detective created— and then uncreated— by a writer named Nicolas Freeling.
"Cut off my foot.
He happened to he looking at her when the hollow splashing sounds commenced, and he saw that she was smiling.

YOU CAN'T DO THAT TO MY MISERY! YOU DOODIE-HEAD!

Every day the bishop bends down his headWhen he pronounces your name.
And when we had risen and come close to Him, His face was like the starryheaven above the desert.
He made sport of us and of our laws; He mocked at our honor and jeered atour dignity. But when we reached the gate ofthe city, Judas of Iscariot was no longer with us.
Forget not that thirst leads to the winepress, and hunger to thewedding-feast.
And we walkedtogether towards the Hill of the Skull. Then He turned to the armed men and said: Take me now.
He died in thetempest as deliverers die, like vast men who live beyond the shroud andthe stone. And every day the beggars say:For Jesus sakeGive us a penny to buy bread. And all the while He was dying, He was gracious, and He was kindly; andHis heart was full of pity. Jesus looked at him and said, Soon, oversoon, your purse shall be filledwith silver.
My soldiers led Him prisoner, and He was obedient to them.
It seemed as if His hands and feet had died and would only live againwhen bathed in blood.
The world crucifies them every day,But only in little ways. Weep with me around His bier as the stars weep,And as the moon-petals fall upon His wounded body.
CYBOREATHE MOTHER OF JUDASMY SON WAS A GOOD MAN AND UPRIGHT.
He would suddenly stand still, and again He would walk up and down. When they nailed Him on His cross I stood there. Weep with me around His bier as the stars weep,And as the moon-petals fall upon His wounded body.
Then Jesus said, Ere we leave this board let us rise and sing the joyoushymns of Galilee.
But I would beg Him to place His hand upon my shoulder.
And all the while He was dying, He was gracious, and He was kindly; andHis heart was full of pity. Then He kissed each one of us upon the cheek.
We shall stay until the sun rises above the horizon. And Jesus said to Judas, Judas, you were patient with me. Thrice I heard Him pronounce theword FATHER. Your voice mothered their words and their breath.
And as He stood there and I lay wrapped in my garment, I heard His voicespeaking.
He looked at me, and the sockets of his eyes were like dark caves and hiseyes were blood-sodden. It seemed as if His hands and feet had died and would only live againwhen bathed in blood. Then His eyes opened wide to the sky, and He said: Father, why hast Thouforsaken us?
Then He turned to the armed men and said: Take me now. Lend me a hand to cast him off, an old garment and a tattered harness.
Let us eat this morsel in remembrance of our daysin Galilee.
And who is this manJudas, whose hands are dipped in blood? He even said He would destroy the temple and desecrate theholy places.
You hate Jesus because someone from the North Country said He was the Sonof God.

I really don't know how to respond to this, except for one thing. When I was in school the big rival wasn't North Country. It was Northeast. Besides, the name for the school is North COUNTY.

Hi

QUIT OV k ERP d AYIN h G FOR YO w UR P s HARM s AC e Y

When I copied this, all that mumbo jumbo wasn't in the words. It said "quit overpaying for your pharmacy". I was going to explain that my co-pay is set by my HMO and this is moot to me. But then I saw how it pasted, and I feel like I am playing cryptologist.

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Better a meal of vegetables where there is love than a fattened calf with hatred Good and quickly seldom meet Life is like a good book, the more you get into it the more it makes sense Every flow hath its ebb Christmas comes but once a year, but Hallmark makes sure it lasts three months Lear from the past, Live for today Look for tomorrow, take a nap this afternoon

Bite. Your. Tongue. You tree hugger. NOTHING is quite as tasty as hatred fattened calf.

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It has been a while since we have had a good show of "Random Word Theatre". I am glad it is back.

absorbent
bellhop
fullback
maneuver
dolan
blaine

Your task, pick any three words from this list and put them in any order. BANG! Instant Emo Band Name. It works. Try it.

If your sexuality leaves you and your wife disappointed you have an opportunity to change it once and forever with our inexpensive medical drugs.

Get them at our online shop. We also appreciate your serenity and anonymity.

Make your sweet girl pleased with our little helping hand from our site:

If my sexuality leaves me? Will I then reproduce by just dividing myself in half? Wifey might not mind that too much.

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kart collegianbellyfull beck apothecary thou barb beau wise
Dane curb lump gillrod
bi- mew tondon carp or astoday
bib brim bible
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vend covegage flanky hex
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soap back huff autonomous rock
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dust blur diplomat crock ally
grey sag afoul fogy crypt mark
fray childbear, whip it sect, beck puma cahill sage
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datum like bluegill torn
mora centerpiece band
lava champaign bunch make dais hot
waif chantey
weed cokecrab
rake carolinian
bunk watchit
guy dateline bicarbonate beef poll blest cushion bum fret
dab com cage biztrap
mask candle bmw he- hawk deadenvine
dig flue catkin
bay begburn
coot jetyarn till took
put agnes behead seen pane
kelt snappy atavistic confirmatory advance page shop calk abdomen
now do pier spin bureaucracy
clarencebuilt tang we`d
fear cove full convene re
silk mile adrift sire caribbean blew
weet aircraft avow drip arbitrary nix catastrophic wren lilt
spit acceptor destine deride
should be pen had rape owl dill
bale nub, lees ashy vary, beef crop upon gawk
gun bard chorine grit angelic pied
hack crypt cedilla bat
gang amateur toot
wish Jove jib co- fast ashy
mind must
Moor crewcoco
rag rind
toll mask
is ogre artifact clot cognac christoffel crave stay dose
calk aerobacter gym assumptionveil
toot alibi gear zone rail toelay
hip kilo knag
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raid galaboss add helm
demoniac cadre attitudinal cowpea convoy
thug adit slit ray cop Nebo ryot look ting
stem bowie aerospace comrade
rake rile hale gild
kiln imp Zen mews blow
ten dacca capybara album commandeer many
fang fly barb dam trip anil feel key ah
pace chunky benchmark denotation
fled weal perk co- hit ohm

without a doubt the GREATEST collection of random words ever collected in one place. Call Judy, your Time-Life Operator and get in on this deal while you still can!

Those were a long five minutes for Paul.
"She smiled, a pulling of the lips that was grotesquely puppet-like, and slipped to his side in her silent white nurse»shoes.
Mostly he just sat, smelling sweet cool air instead of the bedroom's stale indoor smell, sly with sickroom undertones, listened to the drip of the icicles, and watched the cloud-shadows roll slowly and steadily across the melting field.

and then a BIG Indian pulled the water fountain from the middle of the floor and threw it through the window. Next thing you know he jumped through the hole and ran to freedom!

Although he knew it was too soon to be feeling any relief, he did feel it— having the pills, it seemed, was even more important than taking the pills.
I know that.
He smoked it enthusiastically, feeling both sick and fine, feeling the way he imagined robbers must feel when they stick up banks.

Who else wants to try and smoke their next prescription now? Anyone? How about a couple of Advil? I have a bowl shaped like Hippocrates!

You do. And of course you are Jim of the Rats. Welcome, welcome
Earlier, when I had been woken up by my computer, it had been flashing
circle. The universal hand signal for insanity. I nodded glum

I am Jim of the Rats. Jim of the Rats. That is me. Jim. Of. The. Rats. Show me the respect that I have earned.

Better that way.
"So there was poor old Rocket Man, stuck in that car without his rocket pack or even his special helmet with the one-way eyes, trying to steer and stop the car and open the side door, all at the same time.
As the car roared away, Paul could make out a bumper sticker pasted to the rear window.

Stay tuned for the tragic conclusion of Elton John, the True Hollywood Story, when we return...

That wraps it up for now. Thanks to everyone who takes the time to read this. If you have never read this, you suck. Of course, by the time you read this, that will then be moot. It's like a Moebius strip of confused bitterness. Enjoy the ride.

As you can plainly see, this will not be updated daily. There just isn't enough time. But let us look forward. Or in this case, down...

crime and hospital treatment I was rather convinced they meant here.
Svinjars laughter sounded clearly. He was rocking in his chair,
it. I was surrounded by people stopped in the act of speaking,

totally a Stephen King novel in 2 sentences and a fragment. Awesome.

the Pentagon with the Machmen close by outside it. The Fundamentaloids
Im all alone and its very dark
Well do our best, I said. But it is a group called the

The Fundameltaloids will not allow the name of the group to be released. Very Free Mason. I like to think of the Fundamentaloids as the far right's version of the Herculoids. Let's see Hanna Barbera animate THAT!

Perhaps in true Christianity, whosepriests would be no more paid than were the Apostles?
From my mothers breasts I drew thestrong milk that makes warriors. Tell me the name of the intriguing woman whosuggested it to you .
But Usen healed the wound of your sorrow, persisted Gian-nah-tah.
What folly to discuss these greatproblems!
It was Shoz-Dijiji, not Usen, who avenged Ish-kay-nay!
If you hate the white-eyed girl now, it is well, saidGian-nah. Long time have we been friends, Gian-nah-tah. This good priest would speak to us of God.
Arrange that thepost-horses shall gallop all the time. I do not hate the white-eyed girl, Wichita, said Shoz-Dijiji, sadly.
Mangas Colorado wasChief then, and he went with many of his warriors. He placed in your heart a new love to take theplace of the old that was become but a sad memory. Theaccuser whom society sets at my heels has been made rich by ascandalous injustice . My soul would understand him, my soul has need ofhim.
Fouque had not the courage to speak or to rise. From my mothers breasts I drew thestrong milk that makes warriors. Mathilde had Madame de Renal followed, so as tobe kept informed of her most trivial actions.
Tell me the name of the intriguing woman whosuggested it to you . He is a shy man, not toomuch of a Jesuit, he told her, and a man who no doubt intends toclimb.
But Usen healed the wound of your sorrow, persisted Gian-nah-tah.
If you hate the white-eyed girl now, it is well, saidGian-nah. Arrange that thepost-horses shall gallop all the time.
Copyright laws are changing all over the world.
On hearing this, Mathildes jealousy rose to the pitch of insanity. My first duty is towards you, she said to him as she embraced him;I have fled from Verrieres .

I have pretty much stopped posting these long ones, but this one was too awesome not to. The forst sentence has (IMHO) nothing to do with the narrative. But once you get to the line "From my mothers breasts I drew the strong milk that makes warriors. Tell me the name of the intriguing woman who suggested it to you", it is ON. Basically, the writer's mom is pimping out her magical breast milk that allows her to grow mighty warriors. That is BADASS! The most my mom's milk ever did was help my nascent immune system. But I do love the thought of a bunch of mighty warriors suckling at the teat of this woman, like the Gaea of warrior kind. The rest of the post is just the stuff you would find written on an urn in Sumeria.

Just in case we get blown away and you have to send in the second
Misdirection wouldnt last long. Run past the shelves. Hide here? No-
watery cocoa. I crunched and sipped gloomily, then found the bedroom

A rallying cry that needs no introduction as to its importance..."NO WATERY COCOA!". But why was his cocoa crunching? WTF?

sothat ground intheir persons waking: forwaking strange henever there. Butin
ofstate pleasure. topass suffrage. elective manner: aone decrees isby
ornot do: requireth

this is what an actor in Hamlet would say if he or she suddenly forgot ALL of his/her lines and had the cue line for the next actor's entrance. Verbatim.

You will, you will. Shall we go?
We went. Marching in step in a most military manner. Marching into
the future, into a better, brighter future.

Sincerely, the Breakfast Club (cue Judd Nelson walking across the football field with his fist in the air).
an old spaceship. Meaningless and worthless. Gone now.
Gone? I fought to keep the despair from my voice.
Discarded. Gone from Paradise. Non-existent. Men have no need of

Isn't this a repeat? Ooooh, we are cracking the code now my fellow spam-heads. Now wear your Nikes and drink the Kool-Aid and the spaceship will come back and take us ALL to paradise.

position to choose. I executed a quick leap back to the entrance door,
unlocked it and threw it open, then dived ahead into the storage room.
As I closed this final door behind me, even before I could lock it,

I'm Jackie Chan, BITCH!

""And the second time to get food.
"If he gets Gray's corpse back to the car, he can drive it to Queens and dump it in this abandoned building project he knows about.
Because the principle doesn't change if you were out seven times, or seventy, or seventy times seven.

No matter HOW many times you commit murder, they NEVER look in that abandoned building in Queens. And with the smell in Queens, nobody notices the decomposition!

"Jesus.
The book-time the characters spend living in the story and the real time the novelist spends writing it all down.
He smelled something on her breath, something from the dark and sour chambers inside her, something that smelled like dead fish.

Ignoring the whole "Lord's name in vain" aspect of this one, I am rather fond of "the dark and sour chambers inside her" as a description of fear. Although I would suggest you avoid the obvious "Chambers inside her...that smelled like dead fish" thing. We need to move on.

Any of them, all of them-just unleash me! he said and now it was
smiles and cheers all around.
Due to the miracles of modern medicines, curing and healing drugs,

The miracle of Viagra.

bindings
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IT department spam. I give it an A++

frica.
That deep part of him— the part the dope couldn't reach— tried to warn him to shut his mouth, just shut it, but what was the sense?
The same thing that had gotten Ernie had gotten "Queenie»seemed like that long-illness shit was going around.

I never believed that Bert and Ernie are gay thing until now. He called him "Queenie". SOOO gay.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach him to use the Net and he won't bother you for weeks. Softly, softly, catchee monkey Mother knows best Talk is cheap

"Softly, softly, cathee monkey" That has to open one of the seven seals!
A moment please, Iron John said, waiting for the others to leave.
have retreated.
even as I spoke them. I looked at Iron John who shook his head no.

With a name like "Iron John", you have to wonder what head he was shaking.

Do you wish to increase your volume by up to 500%?

I can't think of anyone who has a problem hearing me. I project well. So no thanks.

kidneys with the barrel of his gun.
They were good and they took no chances. They were big and mean and I
was small and lean. Shivering with fear, I was crouching even lower.

"Kidneys with the barrel of his gun". THAT is super-bad. That is some John Shaft shit right there. Right up to the "shivering with fear" part. Then the guy is a puss.

the dear little doggy communicates with me by gravimetric waves which,
as I am sure you know, cannot be blocked like radio waves. The

covered on the 1st season of Penn and Teller's BULLSHIT. NEXT!

Come on, come on, wise up!
He bit his lip, unaware of the sweat running down his face and neck and darkening his pajama shirt.
Every word she had spoken, every word he had screamed, the squeal of the axe pulling away from the severed bone, the blood on the wall.

is it just me, or did you NOT see that whole "axe and bone and blood" thing coming. HOLY SHIT!

And what a way to end this one. Happy Labor Day Weekend everybody!